whos environment is it anyway

Tue, Mar 11, 2008

What is it with politicians? If a politician came up to you and said they’d discovered the secret of perpetual motion, you’d know straight away they’d pointed out the bleedin’ obvious but wrapped it in polit-babble to make it sound like it was their efforts alone that had uncovered this monumental truth. And you’d be correct. The earth does indeed spin perpetually and yes indeed, a politician would notice this and spin it the other way, right back to them. And so it is with government initiatives to “save the environment”.

Take the Cycle to Work scheme. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that cycling and not driving to work is better for the environment. So far so good. Now add a politician to the mix and you get what my employer found out was involved in actually implementing the scheme:

“register as a consumer credit agency, issue hire purchase documentation to each employee on the scheme (which would vary for staff on fixed term contracts), amend staff contracts of employment, deal with the deductions, deal with employees leaving before the end of their agreement, calculate fair value at the end of the scheme, get evidence of insurance, amend our insurance to cover claims resulting from accidents while using company owned bikes, etc., etc., etc., as well as somehow collect evidence that all staff used their bikes for 50% of their commute. There are also implications for people who receive Working Tax Credit.”

The admin burden is so ridiculous that CTC themselves, the “UK’s national cyclists’ organisation” don’t implement it. In fact the whole scheme is yet again, the bleedin’ obvious wrapped in political vomit. No thought has gone into it in terms of making it actually usable by small companies. Halfords can offer to handle the burden but that means local, independent retailers lose out as they’re too small to act as admin providers and therefore lose out to the big boys. Users lack choice and the big conglomerates win yet again.

Sound familiar? Indeed it does. Want to add solar panels or a wind turbine to your grounds, to be “green” and reduce your carbon footprint? Forget it. Planning laws and lack of decent subsidies will knock that on the head. However, if you’re a large subsidy gobbling monster, no problem, here’s a swathe of wilderness for you to despoil with subsidised wind farms. The latest farce is unfolding near the Cairngorms in fact.

So while OUR enviroment disappears under a blanket of politically motivated industrialisation, we, the foot soldiers of the green revolution are standing at the gates of reform, not brandishing low carbon ploughshares or burning frequent flyer cards but scratching our heads and asking of the gateman “what does this mean? hire purchase agreement, what’s that? All I want is a bike on which to cycle to work”. All the while being overshadowed by multinationals laughing all the way to the bank.

Why should I bother with global warming? Every day brings more news of “green” taxes, national bleedin’ heart agencies trying to make me feel guilty for breathing out CO2 and a rash of carbon footprint calculators infesting the internet. But when I, Joe Public, want to get off my car seat and cycle to work, I’m told to sod off, it’s too much work. Instead, just do as your told by the Mary Whitehouse Environment Ensemble. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, Eat My Fist!